[CH.70] The Director's Advice
**TL Notes: So as not to confuse you all, I made a list of the characters that get mentioned in this chapter that you may have forgotten before. Sumire Matsuda: MC Yoko Ando (Yoko-san): Sumire's manager. Ryuya Ishidou: From the Boy Idol "Dannies" |
"What happened, Sumire-chan? You were doing so well in the beginning."
Despite my continuous takes causing further delays in the already behind schedule shooting, the director should be angrier. However, there was no trace of anger in his eyes. Instead, he looked at me with 100% concern. Yet, as the one being looked at, it felt extremely uncomfortable. I was causing trouble for the director, other staff members, and my co-stars with my incompetence.
Certainly, as the director pointed out, things were progressing smoothly without any NGs until we reached the early part of the script. However, as soon as the romantic elements were introduced into the plot, the director started giving negative feedback. The assistant director and other staff members looked puzzled, not understanding why the shooting was stopped. But the director saw through it. He realized that there were no emotions like love or affection in my performance.
The director went out of his way to create an opportunity for us to talk privately in a separate room. It would be rude not to break the silence. After swallowing hard, I decided to gather my courage and confess.
Despite my story being disorganized and wandering aimlessly, the director patiently listened. After I finished speaking, the director, who had been silent for a while, spoke slowly.
"I see, well, when you think about it, it's a natural thing. Sumire-chan is still in elementary school, and it's not uncommon for kids to experience their first love after entering junior high. It's perfectly normal not to understand those feelings. There's nothing strange about being unable to comprehend those emotions."
The director provided reassuring words, but I must apologize; in reality, he's a middle-aged man who lived until his forties in a previous life. Having no romantic connections outside of family and being at the bottom in terms of appearance, I kept avoiding emotions like love and affection. As a result, those feelings seemed to have dulled and frozen inside me.
"I did some research, read manga, watched dramas, but I still don't understand. It's different from liking someone as a classmate or having feelings for a best friend, right?"
The director responded, "Sumire-chan, you're the type who tends to think with your head first. However, the feeling of liking friends or, especially, important people is not so different. Whether it's romantic feelings, friendship, or affection, they are all, in a broad sense, expressions of the same goodwill. If you can feel that, Sumire-chan, I believe you'll be able to experience such emotions when you meet your destined person someday."
I had worried that I might not possess the ability to develop feelings for someone, but hearing reassuring words, even if general, provided a bit of comfort. However, the understanding of those emotions was needed not in the future but right now. In the end, I couldn't escape the feeling of causing trouble for everyone and felt sincerely sorry.
Perhaps my emotions were visible on my face, as the director smiled wryly and assured the key staff that he would explain the situation and ask them to watch over me. I had tried not to care too much, but it would be a relief if fewer people openly expressed frustration or made bothered expressions. While I didn't suffer much damage, it still wasn't a pleasant experience.
"Oh, by the way, how about your co-star, Ishidou-kun? Have you gotten along a bit?"
"Well, we chat during breaks, but when it comes to being close..."
I paused there and shook my head slightly. If we set aside the label of co-stars, it's more appropriate to call us acquaintances or at most, friends. I couldn't confidently say that, so I chose my words carefully, but it seemed like the director understood the nuance.
"With the age difference and being of the opposite sex, it's quite challenging. But, everyone, including you, Sumire-chan, and the staff, is putting in effort, and I want to create a movie that the audience will enjoy. So, I'll be blunt and say this, try to become friends with Ishidou-kun to the point where you can think of him as a friend. Of course, I'll give him the same instructions from my side."
Since I had the opportunity to participate in the movie, I wanted to make a good one. I might not be able to fall in love, but perhaps I could become friends. The psychological hurdles had significantly lowered, but could I still perform the act of being in love? If my expression revealed such doubts, the director chuckled softly.
"If you, Sumire-chan, use your friendly feelings as a basis and layer on the act of being in love, I believe it will be more convincing to the audience. Rather than getting through with superficial acting, I think we can capture much better scenes this way."
My current performance was based on the affection heroines from dating simulation games or adventure games in my previous life directed towards the protagonist, as well as references from romance-themed anime and manga. Being pointed out by the director meant that my acting was quite artificial. Mixing in genuine feelings, regardless of the type, might convey a sense of romantic emotions to the audience. Moreover, the dynamics of distance, whether as acquaintances or friends, would unconsciously change. I remembered, personal space tends to become narrower.
Either way, I couldn't successfully portray the acting of a woman in love as it was. Trusting the director, I decided to become friends with Ishidou-san and get along. With that determination, I tightly clenched my right hand.
---
"Oh, I've heard about it from the director. But, it's a bit sad. I already considered Sumire-chan as a friend."
After finishing the day's shoot, I approached Ishidou-san, who was sitting exhausted in a corner of the studio in his suit, along with Yoko-san. After briefly explaining the conversation with the director and seeking his cooperation, he readily agreed and then made a somewhat dejected expression, jokingly.
"Girls, unlike guys, don't open up their hearts so easily. Sumire understands that aspect well."
For some reason, Yoko-san said it as if she were proud, and Sakamoto-san, Ishidou-san's manager, nodded in agreement. In this era compared to the late Heisei period, the status of women is still lower than that of men. While it's not as prevalent as in the mid-Showa era, there are still instances of sexual harassment and power harassment against women.
Perhaps I'm overly concerned, but having experienced being a man, I understand male desires quite well. It might be unavoidable for someone like me to create a barrier when dealing with men as the opposite sex. If they were around the same age or slightly older, I could interact more casually without much hesitation.
"I do think it's a bit of self-consciousness, but I can't help feeling that kind of wariness. I'm truly sorry if I've made Ishidou-san uncomfortable."
"Sorry, what I said earlier was a joke, so don't worry about it. But still, this wariness... Well, let's start by changing how you address me."
"...Address?"
Suddenly faced with this proposal and unable to comprehend it, I tilted my head. Ishidou-san, with a wry smile, explained his idea.
"I call you Sumire-chan, right? But you call me by my last name. So, if you try calling me by my first name, I think the emotional distance between us might shrink."
Upon hearing this, I found it quite convincing. At school, close friends call each other by their first names, while those not so close use last names. I vaguely recalled reading or seeing something about it in a book or on TV in my past life. According to that, one's name is the word that sounds best to oneself. So, by calling someone by their name, you can become closer. Although I have a name from my past life, 'Sumire' sounds more familiar and pleasant, so I prefer being called by my first name.
"Um, well..."
"Hmm?"
Oh no, in my past life, besides my nieces, no one used first names. This is making me so nervous. Feeling my cheeks suddenly heating up with embarrassment, I gathered my courage and looked at Ishido-san's face. With a strained voice as if squeezing it out, I called him 'Ryuya-san.' Then, with a swift movement, or rather, Ryuya-san turned his head in a direction that felt like the day after tomorrow.
"...Ishido-kun, I think you understand, but..."
"I, I understand, Ando-san! I swear, I'm not looking at Sumire-chan in a weird way. It's just, when she's acting as an office lady, she doesn't seem like a grade schooler at all. Rather, she looks like someone around my age or even older. And even after the shoot, that feeling sticks with me!"
"You're really overthinking it, Ryuya. Sumire is still a grade schooler! No matter how cute she is, keep your hands off her, got it!?"
In response to the pressure from Yoko-san's questioning, Ryuya-san hurriedly stammered. I didn't quite understand why he was flustered, but Yoko-san seemed to be overly protective, or maybe worrying too much. I'm just a grade schooler; there's no reason for Ryuya-san, an adult, to do anything to me. There are plenty of women around his age in his vicinity, so he can leave me alone.
The misunderstanding with Ryuya-san was settled by the promise of his manager, Sakamoto-san, to keep a close eye on him. I’m also apologizing for Yoko-san's rude remarks and bowing, I received a gentle pat on the head from Ryuya-san.
"You don't need to use polite language with me. It's weird to talk in keigo when we're friends. Sumire-chan is polite, so it's fine to use keigo during work, but when it's off or when it's just the two of us, you can talk to me like a friend of the same age."
"Yes... I mean, yeah, I got it. It might be a burden for you, Ryuya-san, but please take care of me."
He's already dealing with the challenges of his own performance, and I feel truly sorry for involving him in my issues. Since he's helping me, I'll do my best to assist Ryuya-san in improving his acting. With that determination, I increased my motivation for the upcoming shoots.
Support Tangerine Translation on Ko-fi! 🍊 ko-fi.com/tangerinetranslation 🍊
Comments
Post a Comment