Side Story: Tsukiko Matsuda's Career Path
"...What, all of a sudden? You never told me to come back after two years."
After reading the letter sent by her mother, Tsukiko muttered discontentedly. The feeling of missing her parents, who were unfortunately absent, had long ceased to exist. It was truly troublesome for Tsukiko that they were involving themselves with her now. The letter mentioned wanting to talk about the future, but Tsukiko had already envisioned her last year of junior high, enjoying it with her classmates, and then progressing to the high school section from April next year.
To avoid complaints from her parents and grandparents, she also worked hard in her studies. It was solely because she didn't want to return to her hometown, she wanted to find a job without meeting her family after graduating from college or a vocational school. However, to retain financial support, it would be wise to maintain at least minimal contact during her student years. To prevent the hassle when she could no longer rely on her parents and grandparents for money, she patiently made spontaneous calls to her parents about once a month.
"She's earning money herself, right? In that case, tell her not to send money over there and send it all to me."
An irritating face flashed in her mind, and Tsukiko couldn't help but express her bitterness. Even though her hatred for her sister, who had not disappeared even after moving to Tokyo, had gradually diminished since living here, the traces of her sister's presence in the family home, even without her there, were increasingly annoying to Tsukiko. Although they had not lived together since Tsukiko's fifth-grade summer vacation, the reminders of her sister's existence were scattered throughout the house, which inexplicably irritated Tsukiko. However, since coming to this school, no one knew about Tsukiko's sister. No one knew that Tsukiko was once a notorious troublemaker; in fact, her current classmates considered her to be a fairly good student. Without consciously seeking approval from others, Tsukiko could feel it, and with each realization, her negative feelings towards her sister gradually faded from 'I want to kill her' to simply 'dislike.'
Even though she was invited by her roommate and close friend Sugi-san for New Year's this year, Tsukiko had undertaken an action that was previously unthinkable: watching her sister's starring movie while shopping. The setting, with her elementary school sister playing the role of a working adult, was extremely ludicrous. However, Tsukiko couldn't help but feel impressed by her sister's efforts in Tokyo. Although she would never admit it out loud, in her heart, she thought, "Maybe I can acknowledge her a little." To that extent, Tsukiko had gained some mental flexibility. However, after Sugi-san praised her sister after watching the movie and the jealousy towards her sister for playing the role of a cool celebrity's lover, Tsukiko's favorable impression of her sister rapidly declined again.
Putting that aside, the problem was this letter. The fact that the instructions were given until this weekend's date indicated that both parents were likely eagerly awaiting her. Would they start complaining about unnecessary things again? Oh, it's really troublesome.
Since receiving the letter, Tsukiko had spent a gloomy week. After obtaining permission to leave school in advance, she took the train to her parents' house.
Thanks to the enjoyable but physically demanding school life, Tsukiko's body was toned, with no trace of her elementary school days. When she was out with Sugi-san, she was engrossed in conversation and paid no attention to her surroundings. However, walking alone like this, she realized that she no longer felt the condescending looks she had sensed when she was overweight. Tsukiko, who had never had things go well in her life, might consider this her first success, hard-earned through determined effort. Thinking about it, there were many unpleasant things, but maybe enrolling in that school was a good decision... and she even made a close friend like Sugi-san.
When she got off at the local station, Tsukiko found the same unchanged scenery as when she last returned. She thought that no matter how much time passed or how much the surroundings developed, this town seemed to exist like a forgotten rural area. To city people with no emotional attachment, it might be just a rural landscape when they occasionally visit. However, for Tsukiko, it looked faded to the point of disgust, with too many unpleasant memories attached.
Thinking, "When I become a working adult, I probably won't even visit this hometown," Tsukiko briskly walked the approximately ten-minute path to her parents' house.
"...Hmph, you used to be chubby, but you've become somewhat more presentable."
The first words spoken at her parents' house came from her grandfather. In the past, Tsukiko would have been furious, but she managed to contain her anger by keeping it within herself.
It was supposed to be a summons from her parents, yet not only were her parents there, but her grandfather, who had just made a rude remark, her accompanying grandmother, and her maternal grandmother who had come all the way from the island were also in the room. She didn't know what they wanted to do, but it was quite a hassle for them to gather like this. Although she expected that they wouldn't come all the way from Tokyo, it was still a bit better without her sister. She sighed softly.
Despite the emotional knots having somewhat diminished, it was natural for Tsukiko not to want to purposely meet her disliked sister. She had finally managed to forget about her family and live happily once the negative feelings subsided. Going back to harboring hatred for her family would be mentally burdensome for Tsukiko, so she absolutely wanted to avoid it. She didn't want to confront the foolishness of her childish self until entering junior high.
Talks with her parents and grandparents were, for Tsukiko, nothing but a hassle. They were suggesting that once she graduated from her current school, she should enroll in the local public high school. If it were the Tsukiko of the past, she would have likely erupted in anger, shouting and screaming at her parents and grandparents for their mistreatment. However, that approach had low chances of success. Her grandfather might even start saying misguided things like, "Once you graduate from junior high, you should start working." Considering his earlier words, expecting reasonable consideration for his granddaughter seemed foolish. But even so, if you viewed him as the source of funding for Tsukiko's living expenses, he was reasonably competent. Figuring out how to continue attending that school and have him finance her until high school graduation became Tsukiko's victory condition.
"Dad, Mom, and Grandpa, Grandma, I want you all to listen. The school I'm attending now is tough, but thanks to that, I've become a slightly better person. I've been able to lose weight, and most importantly, I've made friends."
"Well then, couldn't you come back here? You can stay in touch with your friends through letters or calls, right?"
When Tsukiko began speaking, her mother said that. Tsukiko thought her mother was probably feeling lonely with her sister gone. In return, she likely wanted to keep Tsukiko by her side. But Tsukiko absolutely didn't want to be a substitute for that girl.
Moreover, when her sister was around, her mother always took her sister's side, but now that she was gone, she was trying to cozy up to Tsukiko. It was too selfish. Tsukiko kept a poker face but internally scoffed with a "Hmph."
"Not just that, I'm also worried about your health. The current school involves a lot of physical activity, so if you come back home and lead a normal life, I think you might gain weight again. I want you to at least continue attending that school until high school, so you can understand how much you need to move to maintain, as well as the quantity and content of your meals. Please."
With that, Tsukiko bowed deeply and continued to plead that she be allowed to attend the current school even for high school. To be honest, lowering her head to these people felt like a bitter pill to swallow. However, if it meant obtaining the life she desired, Tsukiko convinced herself, in her inner thoughts, that there was nothing wrong with bowing her head. This sincere tone, a byproduct of such thoughts, led to her parents believing in Tsukiko's rehabilitation.
"If you're saying that much, then it's okay to continue this way until high school graduation. Hey, both of you, let's think about the future when the time comes, okay?"
The island's grandmother, who had only shown sternness until now, said this and helped persuade the grandparents from the town. Although it was unusual, Tsukiko considered it lucky and seized the opportunity to bow her head again, saying, "Please." Perhaps that was the decisive factor, and Tsukiko's advancement to the high school section was finally confirmed. A complex mixture of frustration at having to bow to these people and the anger forcibly locked away in the depths of her heart leaked out as a sigh from Tsukiko's lips.
Invited to go together to the station, Tsukiko left the house with the island's grandmother. The town's grandparents seemed to have no intention of returning, likely wanting to complain about the island's grandmother to Tsukiko's mother. It was petty and ugly to vent frustrations on someone in a weaker position. If they had something to say, they should say it to the person directly. Tsukiko thought they were truly small-minded and unsightly individuals.
Walking to the station in silence, the grandmother directed a serious gaze at Tsukiko. Since there was no need to pretend or flatter anymore, Tsukiko asked indifferently, "What?" The grandmother snorted in response.
"You've become quite skilled at wearing a mask, haven't you? But couldn't you have played the obedient granddaughter until we parted ways at least?"
"Grandma, you're not expecting me to do that, right? Even if I pretended to be obedient on the outside, this is who I am on the inside."
"Everyone uses a facade and their true feelings. If you can live without causing trouble for others by doing that, then that's fine by me. I'm used to being disliked."
"...By speaking sarcastically like that, you're the one being disliked. Like your sister-in-law over there, or that other sister-in-law over there, or the one on the other side."
"Tsukiko, remember this. Daughters-in-law, you see, tend to be disliked by their sons' wives. Rather than trying too hard and approaching them, it's easier for both parties to speak their minds and have a fight."
Is that how it is? The Tsukiko before leaving her parents' house used to express her feelings, whether towards strangers or family, but it wasn't easy. Far from being enjoyable, she often found herself disliked, which added to the irritation of her feelings. Sugi-san was good at maintaining a certain distance, and as Tsukiko continued to be friends with her, she found it easier to talk with other classmates without issues.
While she was starting to get along reasonably well with others, the fact that she could only have relationships with her family filled with dislike like this—why was that? Was it because Tsukiko's life experiences were too limited to understand, or was it because her negative feelings toward her family were too strong? The second-year junior high schooler couldn't make a judgment.
As their destinations were different, Tsukiko parted ways with her grandmother, who had seen her off until she boarded the train, and headed back to the dormitory. Perhaps the conversation with her grandmother had alleviated some of her emotions. The anger and frustration that had been pent up in her chest until a while ago were now gone. When Tsukiko arrived at the nearest station to the school, she began walking towards the dormitory with a clear and refreshed feeling.
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