[CH.58] Resolve to Live as an Actress
**TL Notes: So as not to confuse you all, I made a list of the characters that get mentioned in this chapter that you may have forgotten before. Sumire Matsuda: MC Yoko Ando (Yoko-san): Sumire's manager. Azusa Oshima: Sumire's mentor. Ai Shinonome: Sumire's senpai at the dormitory. Maho Iida: Sumire's senpai at the dormitory. Natsumi Shirakawa: Sumire's senpai at the dormitory. |
Winter at Tojinbo is cold, and the brutally cold wind mercilessly steals away your body heat. Even though I'm wearing a warm, fluffy bench coat over my costume, my body still shivers. It's strange how listening to the rough sound of the waves unique to the Sea of Japan makes me feel even colder.
I'm currently in Fukui Prefecture. The reason is that I was chosen to play the role of the victim's younger sister in a suspense drama. Originally, I didn't have a role in the final scene where the detective confronts the culprit on the cliff, but the director decided to add me after seeing my performance. Well, if they tell me to act, I'll do it, even if the screenwriter gets angry with me.
In front of me, the detective is revealing the actions of the culprit and pressuring the cornered culprit to explain their motive with a hateful expression. Well, I was thinking it's about time for my turn when a staff member came to get me. I nodded in agreement as they gestured to me, indicating that they would signal me here.
"Can you say such a selfish thing... in front of this child?"
This line from the detective is my cue to enter. After taking off my bench coat, I rush toward him and stop, standing behind him, giving a hostile glare at the culprit.
"Haruka-chan."
"Why, why did you kill your big sister? You were so close!! Big sister always called Yukiko-san her best friend..."
A single tear rolled down from the corner of my eye, but I didn't wipe it away, I continued to gaze at the woman in front of me, the murderer. This murder case was a messy one, caused by what is commonly referred to as a love triangle. Haruka's sister was killed. The woman in front of me, 'Kozue,' the culprit, tried to cover up the incident, but it got exposed to multiple people, leading her to kill them all. As the number of bodies she killed increased, the crime became more and more exposed to the public eye. I remember that suspense dramas in those days didn't have such elaborate tricks, but this one felt more like a human drama depicting human frailty rather than a typical suspense story.
Perhaps she couldn't bear the guilt of my words or realized that she couldn't escape anymore, Kozue sank to her knees. Then, a police car arrived, and two actors in police uniforms flanked her and led her away. As I watched her retreating figure, playing the role of Haruka, I clung to the detective while sobbing, begging to give back my big sister again and again. The detective, watching my performance, showed a helpless expression and gazed at the sky, while the end credits were being prepared.
"Cut! Okay, that was perfect!"
When the director gave the OK, I moved away from the actor playing the detective and bowed my head, saying, "Thank you!" There were still tears in my eyes, but I felt that I had improved my ability to control my crying since that audition. My nose, on the verge of running due to the cold, twitched slightly as I sniffled, and the actor smiled wryly.
"I'm the one who should be thanking you for showing such a great performance. Now, let's warm up quickly, we can't afford to catch a cold."
After being gently pushed on the back, I headed towards where the staff members were waiting, and there was Yoko-san, who was rushing toward me with the bench coat at an incredible speed. She put the coat on me, and I was led to a spot near the campfire. Then, I was handed a warm cup of tea, and she told me to warm up here for a while before running off in some direction.
I don't really understand it, but perhaps Yoko-san, my manager, is doing various negotiations and greetings behind the scenes while the talent is acting. Compared to that, even if I feel a bit cold, I find acting to be more enjoyable. Thank you as always, Yoko-san.
I sighed softly as I watched the crackling campfire. I haven't been able to attend school full-time this week or last week, or the week before that. Maybe one or two days a week, at most. If I take a test after attending school due to special considerations, the attendance is adjusted, but it somehow makes me feel like I'm cheating and I can't help but feel sorry.
I have plans to take the junior high school entrance exam, and Yoko-san and Ms. Azusa told me, "Even if you have connections, it's better to have as few absences as possible during the exam, so don't be spoiled." However, that doesn't make this lingering guilty feeling go away. I might think of it as an extracurricular learning opportunity, but I can't deceive myself because I'm the only one here.
In the first place, it seems that my sudden increase in workload was unexpected even by the adults at the agency. Based on the workload discussed during our previous meetings, they expected that I could attend school properly from Monday to Saturday and, even if I took time off, it would be no more than one or two days a week. However, what overturned that expectation was being invited as a guest to a movie feature on a morning talk show.
As far as I'm concerned, I just answered the questions and showed a light etude, but Yoko-san said that my responses were naturally charming, and they looked very cute to the viewers and the people in the studio. I asked Yoko-san what aspects were so appealing, but she didn't tell me, saying, "If Sumire becomes aware of it, it will seem unnatural." Even though I watched the broadcast and didn't notice any particularly strange answers, I was laughed at by other participants, and they reacted with "cute." It's incomprehensible.
But at that time, it didn't have any impact on my schedule, it only increased the number of moviegoers. I was able to have a sleepover at the dormitory as promised with Touka-chan on Christmas, and the year-end wasn't too busy, mostly involving shooting commercials. The second trigger was a hidden camera prank on a morning show, organized by everyone at the dorm.
Suddenly, Ai-san gave me a slightly more mature-looking negligee as a gift and asked me to wear it to sleep tonight, so you should have been suspicious, right? But at that time, I could only think it was strange, and since I was asked, I dutifully put on the negligee and went to sleep. I thought that it didn't suit me well, and it would have been better if I had given it to Maho-san or Natsumi-san, who have the right volume. I embarked on a journey into the dream world, and when I woke up, there were cameramen, lighting technicians, and famous comedians known for their wake-up pranks in my room, all laughing.
I instinctively dove into the blanket and only showed my face. I probably had bed hair and my face was blushing with embarrassment, so I shouldn't have been seen, but apparently, the people who watched the broadcast liked it. Especially those in the industry, I don't know what they based it on, but they seemed convinced that "this girl will make it," and from there, my workload started to grow at an incredible pace.
As someone who had been pranked like an ambush, I did have some thoughts about those who turned against me, but when they told me, "This was the last chance for this group to make a fuss like this," I couldn't stay angry forever. However, if I forgave them too easily, I felt like they might continue to play pranks and tricks on me in the future. So, I decided to make a deal with an expensive cake that can only be bought in a famous hotel. Of course, there was no way I could eat a whole cake by myself, so in the end, I shared it with everyone at the dorm while enjoying tea. When I shared some with Ms. Azusa and Toyo-san, they surprisingly seemed delighted.
"Thank you, Sumire-chan. What's the matter? You seemed a bit down."
"Oh, thank you, Miyuki-san. Are your knees okay?"
"I'm perfectly fine, I was wearing pants, so no problem. I got carried away by the performances of Mr. Sobu and Sumire-chan and ended up doing some ad-lib."
As I gazed absentmindedly at the crackling campfire, lost in thought, I was suddenly tapped on the back and greeted. It was Miyuki Kino, who had just passionately played the role of the culprit. I asked if her knees were okay because she had forcefully knelt on the rocky ground during the performance. She replied while waving her hands, assuring me that she was fine. By the way, Aibu-san was the actor who played the role of the detective.
Since it was a move we hadn't shown during the dry run or rehearsals, it could be true that she got carried away by our performances, mine and Sobu-san's. If that's the case, I'd be delighted, and I'd like to aim for even more emotionally engaging acting to convey my feelings to the people around me.
"More importantly, Sumire-chan, are you feeling a bit tired? Your expression seems to suggest that."
"...Yes, it's true. Suddenly, I've been getting a lot of work. I'm not really handling that much work yet, but it feels like I'm overwhelmed just by the momentum."
"Sumire-chan, your popularity has really shot up all of a sudden."
I honestly confessed that I felt like I was drowning in the rapid changes in my surroundings. Miyuki-san gave a small wry smile and nodded. But then she quickly composed herself and continued, saying, "But you know..."
"In this industry, there are many people who don't even get a chance or an opportunity to survive, just like Sumire-chan right now. That's why I want Sumire-chan to work hard and not be overwhelmed by busyness."
According to Miyuki-san, she has seen many fellow professionals who couldn't make the most of their chances and ended up leaving the industry. I've been fortunate to have my face and name recognized, which has led to a lot of work. However, the truth is that most entertainers don't even get a chance to show signs of such a breakthrough. While I'm currently getting offers due to my novelty and trendiness, this won't last forever. To make it last as long as possible and to continue getting steady work afterward, I have to make an effort.
"I've been an actress for a long time, but I still get called for roles occasionally, just enough to keep going while doing other jobs. I would kill for a chance to become popular, so I envy those who have that opportunity now. But at the same time, I hope they work just as hard as I have to."
God-like figures in my past life turned me into a girl, and I made important friends. I find going to school more enjoyable than in my past life. So I definitely have the desire to go to school and meet my friends. Even now, those wishes are in my heart.
However, after hearing Miyuki-san's heartfelt words and despite the situation changing not long ago, I couldn't help but wonder if the time when I could be flustered and dazed by the influx of work has already passed. Perhaps what I should do now is not just look at the peaks but, instead, diligently complete each job I'm given and continually show the value of the actress known as Sumire Matsuda to those around me. By doing this and working steadily, it might become the opportunity to receive new work and create a place for myself as an actress in the entertainment industry.
For the sake of my future self, I will strive to do what I need to do now. As my conversation with Miyuki-san clarified my feelings, it felt like a sense of determination had firmly settled in place.
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