[CH.28] Put reality into acting
**TL Notes: So as not to confuse you all, I made a list of the characters that get mentioned in this chapter that you may have forgotten before. Sumire Matsuda: MC Ms. Oshima: Sumire's mentor. Yoko Ando (Yoko-san): Sumire's manager. Narumi Sasaki: A girl who played the role of Sumire's character's best friend in the educational drama. Yuta Aisaka: A boy who acted alongside Sumire in an educational drama. He is also an idol trainee in the group "Dannies." Nao and Fumika: MC's close friends. |
"Alright, looking good today,"
While looking at myself in the mirror, I check various aspects meticulously. It's been a while since I stopped being surprised by the image of a reasonably cute girl in the mirror, rather than the middle-aged man I used to be. I wonder if I'm slowly accepting the current me, who is Sumire. On the other hand, I also have gloomy thoughts like, "No matter how great my appearance is, with this personality, I'm only worth about 70 out of 100 points, which reduces my charm."
Bright and innocent personality might suit this appearance, but if that's the case, I would lose the depth in my acting, which is my strength as an actress, all because of who I am now. In the end, I realize my thoughts are just wishful thinking and shake my head to dismiss these pointless musings before leaving the bathroom.
Today is Sunday, and the educational drama I appear in is recorded on Saturday afternoons or Sundays. Although some regions may have implemented a five-day workweek, it's still a long way off, and I go to a school where Saturdays are half-days.
I can't help but think that it would be great if I had a whole day on Saturdays to get more things done. For example, studying – I currently manage to secure about an hour of study time in the evenings, but it's not as productive as I'd like it to be. I'm currently in the fourth grade of elementary school, and I'm secretly studying content that's ahead of my current curriculum. However, I see it as more of a reference because I know that the educational guidelines will likely change when we become high school students. I hope it serves as a memory jog for the material I've learned, as I work through quadratic equations and such.
Ms. Oshima believes that actors should be able to speak English, so he arranges for an English conversation teacher to come once a week. The teacher, Cathy, is a woman who focuses on conversation rather than grammar. Thanks to her style, my aversion to English that I've carried over from my previous life is gradually fading.
I think the education back then, where they tried to cram grammar into students who were encountering English seriously for the first time as first-year middle school students, was really bad.
But even if I want to talk with Cathy-sensei, the amount of conversation I can have still depends on my vocabulary or how many words I remember. So, I'm studying by flipping through my wordbook during moments like when I'm in the car while Yoko-san is driving, trying to remember as much as I can.
Today, I'm sitting in the back seat of the car driven by Yoko-san, flipping through my wordbook. The script? The lines are already in my head. If it's just a short drama with a runtime of about 30 minutes, lines like that get into my head in no time at all. Being young is nice, isn't it? As someone who has experienced that memory worsens and forgetfulness sets in with age, I want to cram as much knowledge into my brain as possible while I still can. Things you learned as a child tend to stick with you.
"Good morning!"
I greet energetically as I enter the studio. The familiar staff members and my fellow classmates, who happen to be nearby, return the greeting. Among them, I spot a girl who will be acting alongside me today, so I approach her with a smile. I playfully pat her shoulder, and she turns around to face me with a surprised expression. Oops, sorry. I didn't mean to startle her that much.
"S-Sumire-chan! I'm sorry, I didn't notice you."
"No worries. I'm the one who should apologize, it looks like I startled you."
When I apologized, she also bowed her head apologetically. Hmm, she's like that too, but the other kids around us are all general participants who have come here, and there seems to be an atmosphere that separates us, who are normally involved in the entertainment industry, such as child actors. It's not like there's any real difference between us and them.
But I think it's best not to bring up topics that might lower the mood before the shoot, so I give a word of encouragement, "Let's do our best today," and then move away from the scene.
Today's shoot is centered around the interaction between the character played by the girl I mentioned earlier, Narumi Sasaki, who portrays Mika Furuta, and the character I portray, Misaki Moroboshi. By the way, the role of Mika Furuta was a role I auditioned for and got rejected. I also auditioned for a role as an ojousama (rich girl), but it seems that role ultimately got cut.
The first time I saw Narumi-chan, I thought that the role of Mika was perfect for her, to the point that it felt like it was specifically designed for her. Of course, she's a general participant, and by the time of the audition, most of the character's details were already decided, so it couldn't have been the case.
The shy, book-loving, quiet girl, and the class's popular girl. When I saw their relationship, the first thing that came to mind was Nao and Fumika from my previous life. My memories of that time are already quite blurry, but I think those two got along well until they graduated from elementary school. Unfortunately, Nao went astray and we drifted apart, but in a world without me, maybe they had a relationship like these two.
Perhaps because of those thoughts, when I reviewed the OK take after playing Misaki, I noticed that I unconsciously played Misaki in a way that resembled Nao. It feels nice to think that even though they should be distant, those two are nearby, although it's all just my imagination.
Anyway, in front of me, there was a scene where Mika, played by Narumi-chan, was surrounded by classmates, and they were telling her to stop being friends with Misaki because they didn't match. I don't have a role in this scene, so I'm just watching from the sidelines, but scenes like this always make me feel uncomfortable.
"This kind of thing feels awful," I muttered beside Yu-kun (Yuta Aisaka), who was watching with me. I wholeheartedly agreed with his words, so I nodded. If there's any silver lining, it might be that everyone acting in the scene doesn't seem too enthusiastic, and their acting feels forced. They might be disqualified as actors, but it's an educational drama, so I hope they can be a bit lenient.
After the bullying scene was over, the script had scenes that focused on Mika's inner conflict and had more solo appearances for her, but we skipped those and moved on to the scene where Misaki and Mika walk home together. To save on costs, we went outside the building where the studio was located, and the inner courtyard had been transformed to look like a park, complete with a bench where we could sit for the shoot.
Usually, we'd rehearse before starting the actual shoot, but this time, the director wanted a sense of immediacy and real reactions, so we went straight into the live take. Narumi-chan's delivery was a bit stiff, but she managed to put some emotion into her lines.
"Let's stop being friends."
For a moment, I felt as if she was really saying that to Fumika, and my consciousness wavered. The shock was enough to make my tear ducts, which had become quite sensitive since I turned into a girl, start to prepare for the impending release.
"Huh... Why? Do you hate me now?"
In my past life, people often commented on trembling voices, but this was like a textbook example of a voice that trembled slightly and seemed on the verge of cracking with emotion. But it seemed like this actually brought my performance closer to reality, as I heard impressed sighs from the director and the crew. However, my inner thoughts were far from that, they were focused on Narumi-chan's hesitant voice as she continued speaking.
While listening intently to Narumi-chan's voice, I fought desperately to hold back my tears. But when Narumi-chan delivered the line, "I really hate you, Misaki-chan," my tear ducts burst open all at once, completely beyond my control.
I'm aware of it myself, but perhaps due to my experiences in my past life, where I had few friends, I'm extremely afraid of being disliked by important people. Whether it's Nao and Fumika or my friends from the dorm, Yoko-san and the others, or my acting mentor, Ms. Oshima, or the connections I've forged in my new life, the fear of losing those bonds is stronger than I ever imagined. If, for some reason, Fumika were to hate me, the imagination of that scenario rushed through my mind before I could even think about it, and the teardrop that had formed slowly escaped, turning into a torrent of tears streaming down my cheeks.
I knew this was problematic. Originally, there wasn't a scene where Misaki would hug Mika, but I pressed my eyes against Narumi-chan's shoulder area as if to hide my face. My mouth was still slightly separated from my clothes because it would muffle my voice.
"But, I like you, Mika-chan."
I managed to squeeze out my voice, even though it was harder to do so due to crying. Even though it was probably a bad idea, I wanted my feelings to reach not only Narumi-chan in front of me but also Nao and Fumika watching this scene through the screen. I continued to speak with all my might.
"It doesn't matter what others think. I want to be with Mika because I like her. Of course, I want to be together from now on too, I want to be friends."
"I want to be with you forever too, Misaki-chan."
After both of us expressed our feelings, we continued with apologies. Misaki apologized for not being able to protect Mika from the malice of their classmates, and Mika apologized for blaming Misaki for the bullying and saying that she hated her. Then, as the two of us looked at each other and exchanged smiles, the director called for a cut, and we received an "OK."
"Hehe, I cried... Is your dress okay? Not wet?"
I chuckled to hide my embarrassment and quickly brushed off Narumi-chan's clothes. For some reason, Narumi-chan, who had been staring at my face with a blank expression, responded to my voice once again. She seemed to be flustered and hurriedly ran away. Maybe she was holding it in for the restroom. The restroom was a bit far from here, so I silently cheered for her to make it on time.
After a short break, we filmed a scene in the classroom set where we held a class meeting. Holding hands with Narumi-chan, we declared in front of all our classmates, "I choose my friends, and Mika-chan is my most important friend." While some people might choose their friends based on appearance or background, I didn't want to do that. I firmly agreed with Misaki's words and spoke my lines clearly.
The teacher summed up, "Friends are not chosen based on appearance, and others shouldn't interfere with their friendships," and we finished the group shot. After this, it seemed that Narumi-chan would stay behind to film a solo scene, so before we disbanded, I tightly held both of Narumi-chan's hands.
"Eh, Sumire-chan!?"
"Narumi-chan, thank you for today. Thanks to you, I was able to act really well, so I wanted to say thank you."
I gently shook our joined hands up and down and then let go. Narumi-chan looked surprised, but she smiled a bit and said, "I think I acted better than usual today too. Thank you, Sumire-chan." There was no sense of a wall between us this time, and I felt like we could become even closer friends from now on.
Of course, when I return to the dormitory today, I'll write a letter to Nao and Fumika and put lots of thanks in it. Somehow, I really want to see the two of them now. Maybe I should go visit them. With these thoughts, I headed towards Yoko-san, who was waving her hand at the studio's entrance.
—This episode received high ratings and acclaim, and the program was awarded by the TV station, but that's another story.
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I like how Sumire's lack of any social experience in the past life just makes her seem like an innocent child in scenes like this.
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