[CH.2] Nao and Fumika

I Reincarnated as a Beautiful Girl and Aim to Become a Top Actress! (WN)

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[CH.2] Nao and Fumika

Since then, my awkward relationship with my sister hasn't really changed, and I manage to get through each day by somehow disguising myself as a young girl.

In my previous life, I harbored resentment that I couldn't digest towards both my sister and mother. Well, maybe I still resent their family over there. Especially my mother, who created an environment where I would fall ill and, despite being busy with work most of the time, would use her authority to force her will upon me if she didn't like something, and my father, who continued to make me do things forcefully. I even felt murderous thoughts towards them.

However, my current family hasn't done anything like that to me yet. My sister's actions might be driven by cute, childish jealousy, and while my mother sometimes says things that annoy me, I can't help but feel sympathy for her, being younger than my previous self yet raising two children must be tough.

At the very least, I need to avoid being a burden, I think while looking at my mother, who is still bedridden, laying out futon. Come to think of it, when I was in upper elementary school, my mother used to be bedridden about once a week.

Every time, she would say, "You never know when your mother might die, so you have to be able to do everything yourself." The impact of those words, especially the idea of my mother dying before the latter half of her sentence, struck me deeply. Until I entered my rebellious phase, I was always afraid of my mother's death. It was, to put it mildly, almost like a curse. As a child, I had thought that I was being forced, oppressed, and exploited as the lowest member of the family, but now, looking back with an adult perspective, I can understand my mother's feelings, if to some extent. I must have grown up to some extent myself.

By the way, my sister avoids coming near me as much as possible when I'm around. Although she shows irritation and open hostility towards me, I seem to brush it off as if it doesn't bother me at all. Maybe it became ridiculous for her to be the only one conscious of me. My behavior shifted in the direction of ignoring her completely, as if her existence was irrelevant.

However, it's a small house, and since it's children's stuff, we eat at the same table and sleep in the same room with a rather relaxed atmosphere. But for my sister, it's probably serious, and I want to somehow improve our relationship and live happily like a normal family. However, the current me is just a young girl. Whatever I say probably lacks any persuasiveness, and it's easy to imagine that my proud sister, who wouldn't accept advice from her little sister, would find it unacceptable.

Well, correcting a child's mistakes is probably the parents' job. Just because I've been reincarnated doesn't mean I have to make everyone around me happy. That would be extremely arrogant, and I don't want to deal with such troublesome matters.

I simply want to pursue my own happiness. I don't want to force happiness on anyone, so I hope that when I have a little more room, I can share some happiness with the important people in my life. I want to make this my motto for this life. 

.....

I'm currently four years old, and on weekdays from Monday to Saturday, I attend the Miyasato Municipal Miyasato North Kindergarten, which is, of course, a public kindergarten.

For some reason, the uniform in this town seems to favor navy blue, and when you go on to a public school, you wear a similar uniform until middle school. It's worth noting that in elementary school, both the blazer and shorts/skirt are navy blue, but in middle school, the slacks and skirts become a lighter gray.

Unfortunately, I don't remember much about my time in kindergarten, so I used to worry about unexpected situations, but when I think about it, life from now on will be a series of random events, and that's just the way it is. Happenings will come to everyone equally, and if I don't have the mental flexibility to enjoy them, this life will also be crushed by various pressures.

"Suu-chan, booom!"

As I was lost in thought about such things, I was suddenly hit by a tremendous impact from behind. I tried to understand who the person was that had collided with me while making sure the girl didn't get hurt and ended up rolling to the floor with her on top of me.

"Hey, it's dangerous to suddenly crash into someone."

I scolded the girl who was smiling radiantly on top of me, but she seemed unfazed by her own collision. She just continued to laugh and smile brightly. With a wry smile, I tried to get up, but this time, a more subdued impact came from the front.

"...I did it too."

With a muttering voice, a child of roughly the same size as me bumped into me gently. It was quite different from the initial collision, and it seemed to reflect the child's personality.

Being sandwiched between the two little girls, a situation that in my previous life some might have paid to experience, but unfortunately, I don't have that kind of preference. Moreover, I'm currently a young girl myself, and while I'm delighted to be cherished as a friend, I actually prefer them to let go as I find it burdensome.

By the way, the first girl who collided with me is Nao Okamoto, and the other one is Fumika Takahashi. Nao's hair is cut around shoulder length, just like mine, and Fumika has long hair that reaches the middle of her back. Both of them have attractive appearances for their age, and they are adored by kindergarten staff, including other moms and teachers. For some reason, I'm also put in the same "cute kids" category as them and treated similarly, which I don't quite understand.

In my previous life, Nao and Fumika were also childhood friends, but our relationship only lasted until around junior high school. Part of it had to do with us hitting puberty and not hanging out as much, and also, we each formed our own friendships in different clubs.

As for Nao, I remember that she got into trouble during her junior high school years and left this town before even graduating. Shortly after entering junior high, she started associating with some rough upperclassmen and got pregnant during her busy third year of exams. I only heard this as a rumor, so I don't really know the truth, but it was a story from the early Heisei period when Showa-era norms were still quite prevalent. The public must have been exceptionally harsh on her. Looking back now, she may have brought some of it upon herself, but I can't help but feel sorry for her.

In contrast, while Nao was carefree, Fumika has remained somewhat reserved and developed into a book-loving literary girl. She's good at studying, has a neat appearance, and I remember she was quietly popular with many boys.

I don't know what kind of life the two of them will lead after this, but if there's a chance to maintain our friendship, I'd like to offer guidance or advice when needed. I know it might come across as condescending when I say it like this, but considering how often my own desires were twisted by my parents and environment, I genuinely want them to cherish their own feelings and decide their own path, whatever the outcome. Of course, I strongly hope that their choices lead to happiness. The current Nao and Fumika are cute and likable, and they're kind to me, even though I'm not like other children, so I want the best for them.

Thanks to Nao and Fumika, I think I'm getting along well with other classmates. While it's not that I'm trying to hide my true self, I blend in among the kindergarten children who spend their days playing noisily. From a teacher's perspective, a child who stands alone or is bullied by others becomes a cause for concern, but a child with close friends like me who can play with others through those friends is observed with less worry and is categorized as a relatively safe student.

Moreover, recently, I've found myself in a position akin to a class leader. I don't mind assisting the busy teachers, but I hope they won't intentionally assign me chores or extra tasks. There are plenty of role models around, and while I don't intend to become the top in the world of young girls, I want to naturally acquire the behavior of a typical young girl to the extent that I don't raise suspicions when seen by strangers.

Holding hands with Nao and Fumika, I join a group of girls who are reading picture books and drawing pictures. I suddenly thought that my skills in observing human behavior might improve.

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